Adam and I went to Bayers Lake on thursday, to check out Value Village, and the pet store. While we were there, we also stopped in to Futureshop to check out the current state of technology. Advanced window shoppers, and all-around bums, we really just wanted to have a look at fancy, overpriced gadgets that we don't need or can't afford. Our first stop was the Ipods. It was there that we met Futurefriend, a 20something, akward, and possibly-high Futureshop employee. Our conversation began in a familiar way:

FF: Hey guys... (hesitant, looking around in a sketchy fashion) Umm.. Is there something I can help you with?
Me: No, we're just looking. Thanks.

It should be noted that his facial expression, pre-occupation with something, somewhere in the distance, and dopey "I really don't want to be here doing this now." expression gave us at first the distinct impression that he was scouting us. That is to say, that someone thought we, two sketchy wierdos, were going to steal something, and this poor joker had been sent to "occupy" us. We later dismissed this theory, largely due to his total ineptitude, and figured that he was just making a terribly half-hearted attempt to make a commission sale, while simultaneously hating his job with more vigor than than I could ever imagine.

FF: So you're looking at MP3 players, hey? What do you think?
Me: Yeah, I was just checking them out. I'm not really interested in buying.

I would also like to mention that during the whole incident, I did all the talking, while Adam stood silently, holding back giggles, and waiting for it to be over.

FF: So you like the Ipods? Yeah, we've been getting a lot of questions about those. (looks around the store suspiciously, or possibly just indicating his total lack of interest in his current engagement.)
Me: Yeah, I bet. They're pretty popular.
FF: Yeah, (sighs. He actually sighed.) They're pretty popular.
Me. Yeah, (and just to see if he was paying attention..) They're pretty popular.
FF: Yep. They're pretty popular. (Jesus!)

Wanting nothing more than simple escape, I looked to Adam for an out. Nothing. He tried unsuccessfully to hold back a quiet giggle, and said nothing. (Although, I was no better.)

FF: So what kind of music do you like? (No! Come on!)
Me: I don't know, um, lots of music.
FF: Oh yeah, like what kind of music?
Me: I don't know Adam, what kind of music do you listen to?
Adam: Uh, lots of music.
FF: Cool, and what kind of system do you have for that now?

So the classic, "Lots of music" trick had no effect on him. What kind of monster was this? He clearly didn't care what kind of music we listen to. Why did he ignore such a clear "I'm not interested in this, you can just stop now" signal?

Me: Um, I have a stereo. And a computer, I guess.
FF: So no kind of portable system to deal with that, then?

Portable system? Was he kidding? Who calls a walkman, or even an Ipod a PORTABLE SYSTEM?

Me: Well, I have a small MP3 player. (big mistake.)
FF: Oh yeah, what kind? An Ipod?
Me: No, a Rio.
FF: And are you happy with that?
Me: Yeah, I like it. I use it a lot more than I thought I would.
FF: How many songs will that hold?
Me: I don't know. 90 or so.
FF: So you're thinking of upgrading to an Ipod?
Me: No. I like it fine.
FF: Yeah, I guess the Ipods can hold thousands of songs. Thats kind of cool.
Me: Yeah, that's kind of cool.

It was at this point that I became aware of my pounding headache. I was sweating. What was the deal with this guy? Was he deliberately wasting our time, pre-occupying us so we couldn't "steal stuff"? No, I don't think so. Did he really want a sale that badly? I can't imagine it, this kid looked like he just rolled out of bed. I'm pretty sure that this was a case of a "Crap, I just got the old productivity-lecture from the boss. I hate this job. Shit, I should try and sell something. There's someone, ok, let's do it I guess. Sigh." last ditch effort not to lose the only job paying his way through university. (Not that I can't empathize with the crap-job for sky-high tuition scenario, but...) So it was all going pretty painfully, with us having no way of escaping his slacker-clutches, and he having no clue what to say next to help his situation. And so he tried:

FF: So what are you guys doing tonight?
Me: Um, I don't know. Hey Adam, didn't you want to look at computers, or like, dishwashers or something?
Adam: Yes. We should do that. Now.