I would like to introduce all of my readers to my new friend, Owl the Candle. Simone found him at the village of values, and gave him to me as a congratulatory gift for having finished my essay. (even though it was close to a week late.) I especially like his plastic orange eyes, and I think that he may just have taken the title for my favourite owl so far.

That's right. I collect owls. (that is, owl figurines.)

It started about five months ago, when Brent, quiet but dedicated member of Team Willow, brought home a small brown porcelain owl figurine that he had found at a thrift store. I thought it was pretty funny, and even a little charming, and the more I looked at that little guy, the more he grew on me.

I should mention that the House already had two plastic guard owls, which have had a place perched above us in the living room for the last year and a half.

One day, on a thrift store mission of my own, I myself came across a small porcelain owl, and I just couldn't resist. I brought him home, and placed him on the mantle-ledge beside one of our guard owls. It seemed perfect. I really liked that little team.

Months passed, and suddenly, I was noticing small owl figurines everywhere I went. They became impossible for me to resist, they were far too funny, too cute, to ridiculous, too fucking awesome. Soon I had a legion of owls, growing weekly, each one different, all of them friends, and I could barely remember a time that I wasn't on constant owl-watch.

And then Simone gave me Owl the Candle, in the presence of Selwyn, Rob, and Brenna, and I explained to them about my owl collection on the mantle-shelf in the living room. And then I realized something:

This is how it begins.

This is where parents come from. This is how your aunt began collecting crystal unicorns. It all starts as an innocent joke. You find a funny little porcelain owl, and then two and then three, and the irony of your little "collection" just keeps getting better and better. And so you search out more and more. And then one day, you realize:

The irony is gone. You collect owl figurines.

For real.