The results are in from the first ever Halifax Underground Celebrity Pie Eating Contest, held Saturday night at the Seahorse. It was an ugly competition. It was sickening. It was more pie going in and on people at once than anyone really cared to see. And it only lasted fifteen minutes.

According to Gerry of the Hunter Street Party Authority, the winners are:

First Place: Desmond Troyer! (2.2 pies?)
Second Place: Jon Epworth! (1.9 pies, and mild point losses for puking.)
Third Place: Crystal Thilli! (1.6 pies)

I would like to point out that although I may not have placed, I did eat 1.3 pies, which considering my size and less-than-healthy state that night, was pretty damned good. I even beat Darren from Flagship Sinker/Slitch who easily has 50lbs on me.

It should also be mentioned that Rachael Parsons, of the Hunter Street Party Authority was disqualified after 7 minutes for throwing the game, having eaten barely a morsel, showboating with her miniature utensils, and making a mockery of the contest.

The next day, I had to do inventory at work, and I really felt it hard. It felt like a brick in my stomach, a sugary, pie-flavoured brick that just wouldn't go away.


The show itself went very well. Risky Business ("Risky - Business - Risky Business that's us!") was awesome, and so was Oh God, right until Jim snapped the neck off of his guitar. (Quote: "That was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever done.") And we (Sharp Like Knives) went over really well too I think. Lots of dancing.