Five days later, I arrived back in H-town. The events of the first ever OptimusCrime Leadership Summit 2004 can and will be recorded here under three categories; The Trip There, The Summit, and The Trip Home. Most stories will be condensed for this entry, but I encourage readers to request full versions of any of the events mentioned here. The top 3-5 will be posted, in detail during the next few days. PS: Award for dumbest hairstyle? Yours truly. (front-wing)

1. The Trek To Montreal, Quebec, featuring Erin Greeno:

We left on Tuesday morning at around 8:00am from Halifax. (I had bypassed sleep the previous night) Backpacks, ballcaps, and a blazing sun seemed to forecast a flawless hike. It was less than flawless. By the time 6:30pm rolled around, not only had we been stuck in Moncton NB for over five hours, but I was rapidly gaining a new respect for the terms "heavy", "pain", and "stupid", having made the questionable decision to carry a dufflebag filled with over 400 cardboard cd sleeves I had just finished printing for my pal Abigail Lapell. The problem is, one cardboard cd sleeve is not in any way heavy, and could quite easily mislead you to think that many sleeves couldn't possibly weigh too much. It is not true. They can, and do.

In Moncton however, we were lucky enough to be picked up by a gentleman trucker named Darren. He was polite, and generally considerate. But gentleman though he was, Darren still managed to do one thing: He left us by ourselves in an empty Truckers Lounge, over night, for 6 hours. The next morning, after a very interesting night, we were on the road again, and by noon, we were in Montreal.

2. Two and One Third Days in Montreal, Quebec. (or: Optimuscrime Summer Conference, MTL)

As I said, we were in Montreal by noon, within minutes of our projected goal of arrival. After parting temporarily with Erin, I met with my partner in crime, OptimusMontreal at the Berri-Uqam station, and our cross-provincial Awesome Conference begun. A short recount of our two days of conference activities:

+ Working hard to meet our Leisure Quota.
+ Making sometimes difficult-to-hear phonecalls on an item known as a "Blackberry".
+ Consuming the mandatory amount (crap-loads) of Montreal Jewish-style bagels, from St. Viature, and Real Bagel.
+ Practicing complex high-fives and handshakes.
+ Taking full advantage of my 3-day metropass.
+ Abi's phenomenal folk-inspired set, followed by Rae Spoon's toe stomping hoedown spectacular!
+ Hanging out with Mackenzie, and seeing Kyle and Heather again.
+ Meeting with Design-wrecking crew Chloe and Yannick of Seripop, to check out their studio, and hang out.
+ BRAID!!!!! (Where the eff were you?)
+ Being mistaken for a hardline straightedge vigilante by some Toronto youths. They had never heard of Braid.
+ Eating cherries
+ Making, subsequently eating delicious curry on rice.

3. The Journey Home Through Bizzarr-o Land, Canada.

After leisurely waking up at 11:30am, crawling out of bed, and slacker-ing around with OptimusMontreal for an hour or so, it was time to hit the road. The conference had gone well. All of the important issues (bagels, high-fives, cherries, Braid) had been covered, and many critical decisions made. (Decisions like: How many bagels is too many in a ten minute stretch?)

I met with Erin again at the Berri-Umaq station, with a dollar-slice in my hands, and a song in my head. High-fives were exchanged, and I bid adieu to Montreal, until our next meeting, which is slotted for July 8th in noneother than Halifax, Nova Scotia. We hopped on the Metro, and within the hour, we were on the highway, set for home. Little did we know what (mis)fortunes lied ahead us. Among our highway interactions, may be noted:

+ Philip, who during our drive, received a speeding ticked for $300!! "This hurts" he said.
+ Outside of Quebec City, witnessing/causing a two car accident, and then quickly making tracks as the old "phone number exchange" turned into outright physical assault.
+ Getting so sketched by one driver that I actually prepared myself for the possibility that I may have to strangle him with my bandana to escape. Then feeling like an ass, when it became obvious he was harmless. "Let me tell you another joke! Oh... it doesn't work in english. Sigh. None of my jokes work in english."
+ Rivier du Loup: Three cars pull to the side of the offramp in the pitch black night. Two people get out of two cars, and disappear into darkness over a hill/cliff, and do not return. No headlights. All three cars then leave on cue together, in total silence. Us: "This place is fxxxked, lets get out of here."

+ We tented in an empty provincial walking park, without incident.
+ The next morning, we were picked up by David MacDonald, who as luck would have it, was going all the way to Halifax, Nova Scotia! He bought us breakfast, and questioned our eating habits. Ten long hours later, with no substantial breaks in the thoughtful, but very intense conversation, we arrived home. "Consider doing something other than art, Paul. It won't make you any money."

I arrived at Willow Street Manor, just in time to find out that the Burdocks were playing down on the waterfront. So, with my camera, and a Montreal bagel in hand, I trundled my tired little feet downtown for a great time!