Ok, I'm no music expert. And I understand that music is not universal. To each his own, I've often said. And I will defend anyone's right to like the music that they choose. (Though if you're choosing bands like Screwdriver, I may have another bone to pick with you.)

But there are some things I just can't get down with. Abba is one of them. Fleetwood Mac is another. I know people like them, and that's fine. Go ahead and like your crummy, annoying music. Go ahead and sing their annoying songs, and see their annoying broadway musicals. That's just fine with me. We can still hang out.

I'll be honest though. Tolerance can only go so far. And I draw the line at the seemingly popular new fivesome, the Scissor Sisters. "You like scissors, you should hear that band. They're kind of neat. You might like them." I saw and heard the Scissor Sisters for the first time in my life, last night on a rerun of Saturday Night Live. I was shocked. Shocked. Do my acquaintances (no matter how casual) really think that poorly of my taste in music? Do I emit some sort of pheremone that tells people "this man has a terrible sense of good sounds versus bad sounds"?

Normally I wouldn't devote webspace to this sort of juvenile "I hate this band" self-serving pulpiting, but in this case, I honestly believe that I would be remiss in my duties as editor if I didn't make my opinion on this matter heard. I can't just sit idly by and allow innocent people to be violently assaulted in their eardrums by the terrible, terrible noise of this monstrous band.

Scissor Sisters: You are a parody of your own band. You are charicatures of talentless schmucks. It's really kind of sad.

The only thing that made watching those poor bastards perform even close to tolerable, was pretending that they were the musical version of the Joe Schmo Show. A band, populated by five stereotypes, each more annoying than the last. And only one of them is real. The game which guarded my sanity, and the sanity of my roommates, was trying to figure out which band member was the 'Joe Schmo', the 'Matt' of the bunch. Which of those five actually dresses and acts that way, and honestly believes that he's in a real band?

Answer: Second from the right.

Things Elliot has done today which are endearing:
- playing with paper
- purring
- sleeping
- lounging
- eating

Things Elliot has done today which are less than endearing:
- crapping on my bedroom floor
- pissing on my fucking bed!

You are cute, little one. But know this: If you ever do either of these things again, I will pee on your cute little head. Got it? Now if you'll excuse me, this Optimuscrime Editor has some laundry to do.

Readers, we need to tell you something. We here at Optimuscrime Halifax are busy, busy busy. We blog, we work, we screenprint, and yes, we take photographs. Sometimes we take photographs of bands. Sometimes we take photographs of the street. Sometimes our photographs illustrate our blogposts, but often times they are entirely independent projects.

And sometimes we can't think of things to write.

And sometimes we just want to post our pictures, so our readers can have a break, and just take some time to look at them, without having to worry about that huge block of text that will inevitably follow, peppered with little pink hyper-links and such.

And so it is with that in mind, that we proudly present to you, a new frontier in the Optimuscrime Empire: Optimuscrime PHOTO! It's linked in the sidebar there, with a cute little camera. Dedicated entirely to photography, Optimuscrime PHOTO will be a place;

"Wherein readers will find that they will be required to do less reading, and more looking, which is arguably easier, and can sometimes be more enjoyable. And wherein the Author of Optimuscrime Halifax can publish his photographs in a separate forum, so as not to interrupt the Optimuscrime blog-flow."

So, to summarize: There will be blogging. And there will be photoblogging.

Both will be updated semi-regularly, so there will be twice as much reason to come and check in with the Optimuscriminals. And this will serve to prove that Optimuscrime Halifax is not entirely lazy, or without drive.

It's been a good year so far in Halifax for snow, this 2005. This month we've already had one serious snow storm last Monday (it was no White Juan, but it was something) and another noteworthy blizzard on Thursday. Today/tonight we're getting the white end of the stick again, and this Optimuscriminal is wishing, and hoping seriously that his work will be cancelled again.

Today was a real adventure. Maggie and I braved the storm, bundled in layers upon layers, and made our way down to Spring Garden Road, to catch a 2:30 (or more accurately, what turned out to in fact be a 3:30 screening) of The Life Aquatic, with Steve Zissou. Alright, it's fairly old news, and readers are probably all sick of amateur reviews, so we'll just say this: Effing incredible. Effing incredible!

"I'm gonna fight you, Steve!"

It was crazy, the trip there, and back. It was cold, it was windy, and it was nothing but white. Oh, and a lot of really really good foot-sliding down hills. There was that too. We were two of maybe 30 people in the downtown area.

Not to downplay the intensity of the weather today, or last Monday, but as an ex-ontarian it's actually a little astounding the way that this Atlantic Canadian city deals with blizzards. That is to say: We shut down - almost as though we didn't see it coming a mile away. In Atlantic Canada. I just find it amazing that a province who spends such an absurd amount of money salting the streets to the point of insanity, could actually be caught off guard by blizzards, on such a regular basis. I don't remember that happening so often in London. Maybe in Owen Sound, but I mean, for the most part it seems like Ontario just tuffs through the weather more. It's not like they don't get blizzards. I don't get it.

Don't get me wrong. I love it. I welcome the day off work, knock on wood. And as a matter of fact, there's something really charming about a city that just takes a break when it gets really cold. It's cute. It's just funny, is all.

Optimuscrime: Crossing my fingers, hoping for more snow.

Rumours from reliable sources have it that Montreal's little lovers the Unicorns have broken up. Reliable sources, like Nick's sister, and ex-Team Willow Annexer Elise, that is. Though their website implies some controversy, Elise assures us grimly that it's no hoax.

If it's true, this is sad, sad news.

It may have been a stormy relationship, but they made beautiful music.

Optimuscrime will miss you, Unicorns. See you on Ghost Mountain.
xo. R.I.P.

Mark's band Dresses played at the Pavillion on Saturday. They tore shit up. This is them being seriously awesome. These were taken with my new favourite camera in the whole world. I know it might be a cop-out, but digital is seriously giving me a lot more motivation lately. I'm willing to admit that it's laziness. I'm a sucker for convenience. But this convenience will result in a major boost in my productivity.

Dresses sounds kind of like Orchid, kind of like awesome. Much slower than Orchid though, more like Karenza.

Mark Black is a card-carrying member of Team Willow. (At least, he'd better be carrying his card.)