OPTIMUSCRIME HALIFAX

work? that's for suckers. idiot suckers.

you guys give up - or are you thirsty for more?
team willow alumnus in germany!

Ex-Roommate, long-distance pal Tamara Henderson is keeping it real, and going strong over in Germany, making art, clothes, and now hilarious video work at the Stadelschule in Frankfurt. This video is seriously amazing! The staircase scene, and the brilliant recreation of the scene in which Kevin McAllister is hung up on a wall-hanger by the crook - so. so. good! (our pal Michael Eddy plays Kevin.)

The Home a. Lone video consists of several short scenes that are modelled after scenes in the 1990 Hollywood blockbuster Home Alone. Inspired by the flow of low-fi special effects in the original film, Henderson and sculpture partner Emi Uemura reconstructed these sculpture situations in their own flat. With a small but elite cast of four: Emi Uemura, Michael Eddy, Tris Vonna Michell and Tamara Henderson, the sculptures were used as props, and selected scenes from Home Alone were realised.

Watch out in May 2006, when Tamara will be guest-curating a show of young german artists for our very own, Gallery Deluxe Gallery!

doobie time brings an end to to a lovely visit

We've got a new guy in charge, and to be totally honest, we're just not that interested anymore. Here's to opening the doors to the possibility of conservative, and frightening new policies. And here's to a system that ensures that our new shitty government will not be able to actually do anything. And here's to the minority setup that will hold the douchebag at bay, at least for now.

But mostly... most of all... here's to a total lack of desire to talk about it, over here! We're glad our co-editors have our bases covered in that department, because for all the crap it represents, and for all the lamenting we did for fear that we would end up with this guy in the big seat... well... We're just kind of tired of caring about it. We think that voting, especially when you're not entirely convinced in the voting method, or the actual impact of your vote, well.. it has that affect, apparently. So yeah, we're not too pumped with the outcome.. but really, is anybody surprised? We'd prefer to just watch our roommates, and houseguests doodle big fat doobies and shitty facial hair on the guy.

And speaking of houseguests, Team Willow has been a relatively full and happening place for the last week, with the unexpectedly extended visit of our good pal Philip Clark. Shown here eating delicious pasta, Phil arrived sometime friday afternoon with a carfull of gear to play a rock show, but had to extend his plans when he found out that his car full of gear was also a car full of expensive rust holes. During the week of his visit, pasta consumption at the house skyrocketed, along with the ibook ratio. Our time in the livingroom saw a spike in messageboard-drama related hilarity, and we even managed to sneak in a visit to our favourite food-house on Robie - RobieFood. Philip left today, and though he denied us his pasta-leftovers to remember him by, he did leave the Tuesday Doobie Paper that Mark Black bought, and he defaced, with the help of Michael.

advloggin: you know we love it!

Ok, so OC Original has been keeping it real with his close-to-daily musical advent blogging. And OC Toronto has us covered with her Thumbs Up lists. Even OC Kingston has surpassed us in the holiday-blogs-to-date category. Well, we don't want to come off like a total scrooge. We're here in London, amongst our family - loving the holidays. We like the snow alright. We're into the hot chocolate. We're... relaxing.

So here it is: Proof that we love ya. Solid proof that we can do this Holiday thing. From the Halifax Headquarters of the Optimuscrime Empire, we bring you this musical offering:

Stiff Kitty - Christmas On Citadel Hill

Citadel Hill, home to that old fortress which overlooks our fair city. And frequently home also to lonely, lusty, or adventurous homos looking for some late night action. As our big gay pal Matt (keyboard whiz for Sharp Like Knives, and the creator of this gem of a song) said unto us when he passed it our way: Hopefully it's the gayest christmas song you've ever heard.

"I'll eat your junk like it's from Christ above." Yep, that's pretty gay. (And pretty catchy.)

Old Rats goes under the (butter) knife: illustrated

So a fella's computer goes and gets itself all busted up. It's harddrive just ups and screws right off, and it seems like there's nothing he can do but take it in to the techies and pay them tonnes of scrilla to make it all better. That was our original thought here at Optimuscrime Halifax HQ. We spent roughly 5 days worrying about the dough we were readying ourselves to part with just to have our little workhorse ploughing again.

And then Catano the roommate enters the scene:

"Don't pay those suckas" he says," We can do this sh** ourselves. I'll help you."
"But I'm afraid I'll harm the little guy" We say. "I don't know how."
"F**k that, boyee." Says Catano. "I did it before for my girl. We got the internet to help us, and we gonna crack that motherf***ker open, and we gonna make it sing."
"Catano," We say, "I don't know why you talk like that, but I'm willing to try this."
And so we get out the screwdrivers, the pens and the butterknives, and we do this...

One and one half hours, fifty two (52) tiny screws, one new harddrive and a plastic case making the most horrific noises that we've ever heard, the job was done. (Honesly readers, you wouldn't believe how terrifyingly compact the insides of an iBook are!) Old Rats! (the given name of the computer) had survived the surgery, and though there were currently eleven (11) screws leftover without homes, we powered him up, and he worked like a dream. (That is to say, that he worked. Period.) And so we celebrated, by loading him up with new programs, and bestowing upon him a beautiful decorative mactack covering to make him feel like once again, somebody loves him.

Now, Our good Old Rats! didn't get out of this unscarred, mind you. No, he'll have these marks for the rest of his life, to ever remind him of his time under the butterknife. It's a small price to pay, for a new lease on life (and at half the cost) right Old Rats? We think it looks tough. Tough the way your new floral covering looks tough. Right?

And so, Optimuscrime Halifax would like to extend a warm holiday thank you to Catano the Roommate for his bravery in the face of technological malpractice. And one to Old Rats for not leaving us too soon. We've got too much ahead of us, you and we. (dang, this first-person plural is tough to keep up - even for us sovereign bloggers.)

dear readers: a list of holiday excuses from a blogger MIA

It's been literally weeks since our last post, gentle readers. (Though, in comparison to our former month-long absences weeks seem like almost nothing.) The reasons for our absence are many-fold. And so, with Christmas upon us, and the holidays looming, and the spirit of good-will and honesty filling our beings with soft, puffy truth, we give you:

A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF REASONS THAT WE HAVE BEEN REPORTEDLY MISSING ON THE "INTERNET".

We are busy. We have our hands in too many pots, as they say. A rock band, a Miniature Gallery, a Graphic Design company, an actual job, and these things called "friends".. they've been keeping us busy. Damn them all, but they've just made us a sweeter offer than this internet has of late.
A sorry attempt to perform the act of holiday gift-giving in a better than half-assed manner. We've been buying/making/collecting presents slowly for the last month or more, in hopes that we may come off as less than entirely sketchy this year.
An almost thorough sickness of all things "virtual". Messageboards. Livejournals. Online Newsgroups. Forums. They've been a near-constant source of anxiety of late. Why do we find ourselves reading blogs we know will only enrage us? Why do we participate in discussion threads that we know will result in untimely ulcers? A break seems appropriate on a semi-regular basis
Keeping Up With The Criminals. Let's be honest with ourselves folks. When it comes to blogging, our homeboy Lukas has pretty much got it covered for quality, and quantity. Simply put: Dude makes us look bad, and we're just not sure we can compete. Best bud, he may be. But an awesome blogging-foe he also represents. Ok, maybe foe is not the right word. But when you've got keeners like Luke on your team, it's hard to feel like a real contributor.
And finally... the one you've all been waiting for:
Computer Woes. Yes. They've stricken us too. First the server, and now at home here in ~~sunny~~ cold as fucking ice Halifax, Nova Scotia. After weeks of chugging, our harddrive has finally bit the electronic dust. So while we wait patiently for our new one, which is costing us a beautifully tragic 350 bones, we're reminded of simpler days. When we drew and wrote, and conversed using paper. Paper that didn't cost us our meager fortune.
We would also like to mention, (for a cheap sympathy shot) that with our harddrive went the better part of three weeks worth of design work for our pal Jon Epworth, and a number of other clients/friends. Three weeks since our last backup. Serves us right, we suppose.

So, readers - this may pose a question for us all. Will Optimuscrime Halifax return when his computer springs back from it's untimely grave? The answer to that question is a complicated one. In short - we don't know yet. Our world is a complex one, and we have, as we've said, many things on our proverbial plate. Perhaps we can find a way to regain a foothold in this so-called "internet". Maybe this "blogging" business isn't over for us yet.

Only time will tell.

And in that time, please accept our most genuine wishes of holiday cheer.
We have no special holiday mp3s, or fancy lists of awesome things. Optimuscrime already has those covered. No, what we have is a very special, very tenuous relationship with our readers. And a total lack of promises, or holiday offers. Only this: Have a good holiday. Hug your friends and family.

weblaunch: gallery deluxe gallery online!

After a year of conceptualizing, 4 months in operation, 5 shows, under our belts, and some much appreciated press, Gallery Deluxe Gallery finally has an official website. Here you'll find information about the miniature art space, the people that run it, and the art that has been and is being shown. There will be lots of updating. Every show is documented fully, and the archive section is complete with every show since the Gallery's inception, with photographs, and descriptions. So no matter where you live you can still check out the shows.

Please go and check out the website. And if you live in the area, please stop by and see our gallery. We have a new show opening every month, so there's always something new to see. And take a look at the calendar section to see what kind of exciting exhibits we have in store for the new year.

Gallery Deluxe Gallery is located directly above 6015 Willow Street in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Gallery hours (apart from opening reception) are Sundays from 12-5pm, and by appointment during the week.
Email gallerydeluxegallery@gmail.com, or call 425-0600.